


Secrets In The Dark

by alafaye



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, Adultery, F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 07:22:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alafaye/pseuds/alafaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Guilt drives Gwen back to her shared rooms with Arthur, but she's back too early.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> It's an AU where Lancelot didn't die, Camlann didn't happen (or Arthur won; pick your choice), and Camelot's castle is hiding many secrets. This fills the 'love triangle' (or would that be square??) for [love bingo](http://alafaye.livejournal.com/337489.html).

It was still pitch dark when Gwen woke up, pulled tight against Lancelot's chest. He was, of course, still sound asleep, but Gwen never failed to wake in the early hours, something inside reminding her that she had to return to her chambers before morning came. With reluctance, she slipped from under Lancelot's arm and pulled on her dressing gown and shoes. At the door, she turned around to look at him just once more, when no one could see her and she didn't have to hide her emotions.

She didn't leave this early very often, preferring to stay and watch him sleep. Enjoy a few more hours, pretending that it was he who had broken tradition to marry beneath his (elevated) station. Pretend that maybe they were in another kingdom where no one knew she was a serving girl and Lancelot was not lowly-born.

But tonight, Arthur had hosted a visiting king who had arrived with his queen. Shortly before the feast, some of the servants had overheard a heated argument between the king and his wife concerning her habit of inviting a certain knight along every time because she just couldn't bear to be parted from her lover. News had spread quickly and soon, everyone knew that the visiting queen was an adulterer and the feast, which had been intended to celebrate the enduring peace between the two kingdoms, had been subdued and filled with a tense undercurrent.

Gwen had imagined eyes watching her from all sides, judging her for her sins.

Guilt churned in her stomach and she quickly left Lancelot's room. She kept her foot steps silent but quiet, stepping into alcoves and behind corners when she knew the guards would be passing through. She knew their patrols now, by heart, and it only made her guilt worse. She _shouldn't_ know the patrols and she shouldn't be able to walk the corridors in the dark without hurting herself or knocking anything over.

The law of Camelot concerning adultery--specifically royal adultery--haunted her mind as she walked down the last hallway and entered her rooms with Arthur. Her life--as well as Lancelot's--was on the line every night she spent away from her marriage bed. She wondered, as always, at her actions, how she justified it, but the memory of Lancelot and their nights together were just too much.

Someone swore in the room and whomever it was, didn't sound like Arthur. Heart in her throat, Gwen silently crossed to the curtain hiding the bed from view.

"Did you hear something?" Merlin asked. Gwen frowned, confusion and disbelief swirling inside her.

"Other than you being nervous?" Arthur grumbled. "No. Now, will you calm down? It's really difficult to fuck you if you're all tense." Gwen bit her lip and shook her head.

"But what about Gwen?" Merlin pressed. "What if that was--"

"It wasn't," Arthur sighed. "Believe me, she's still with Lancelot. She hardly comes back before dawn."

Cloth shifted and Merlin moaned. "Fuck. That's--"

"Exactly," Arthur chuckled. "A bed is much better for this. As I told you."

"Especially if it's a royal bed, perfectly made for wilting flowers?" Merlin teased.

"I'll show you who's a wilting flower here," Arthur growled.

Gwen left as the sounds of their love making rose. She couldn't go back to Lancelot's rooms, but she quickly found her own, rarely used, chambers. Very few royal couples shared a room, she knew, and a room had been put aside for her use as she wanted. She didn't use it often because at first, she was only too happy to finally know Arthur as a wife knew her husband and then later, she often slept in Lancelot's rooms, slipping back into Arthur's as was their habit.

She fell against the closed door and slid to the floor. Tears burned hotly in her eyes as her heart thundered in her chest. She felt betrayed and then disgusted with herself--how could she feel betrayed when she had done the same to Arthur? Arthur who felt justified bringing Merlin into their marriage bed because Gwen had left the bed first. And, oh god, Arthur had been with Merlin for a while; was this why Arthur doted on her less?

She buried her head in her arms and cried, unsure of what came next and dreading the future.


End file.
